Episode #8 - Restore Your Confidence And Power

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Welcome to be, do have a simple formula to Uncomplicate your life. My name is Malvin Young. I'm a speaker entrepreneur and brand partnership manager with a well-known TV production company. This show is about a straightforward formula that I've used to coach hundreds of people over the last 15 years to overcome many challenges. Personally, I don't like to coach on any area of life that I haven't improved on myself. So lucky for you. I've had to overcome big challenges in the areas of relationship, finances, health, anxiety, and depression. Then after a crazy car accident, I had to do it all over again. I'm really excited about this show today, because what I'm about to share with you is made a huge impact on my life. And more importantly, I've seen many others who have practices methods, breakthrough barriers that have been holding them back their entire lives. Also, please subscribe to get the most value out of this podcast as each episode, we'll build on each other.

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Welcome to episode number eight, where we're going to talk about restoring your power and what does that mean to restore your power? Well, we all have a loss of power in some area of our life. And what that means is for example, there is a time when, uh, in your life, when you just felt more powerful, more confident, um, more in the flow, uh, produced better results. And then there's times in our lives, when we don't produce the same type of results, it's like we lost our flow, we lost our confidence, or we lost our skillset or ability within a certain area. And or maybe in relationships, maybe there's a time where we feel powerful in our relationships and we're good at them. And then we hit a point where we're not so good at them anymore. So how do we get our power back?

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There's also the scenarios of just growing up. You know, we have all this energy and vitality and we're growing up, uh, and, uh, we're having fun. And then we get older and then we start learning about, uh, work or, you know, we have all these different pressures in life. We start having children, uh, relationships, and then we, all of a sudden don't feel like we have that same power that we used to have. Um, also we get very consumed in life. We've got so much going on that it's hard to have power because we're spread so thin. So today we're really going to talk about how do you restore your power and where does the power really come from? And it's all linguistics, it's all language. It's all within our own language that determines how powerful we are as a human being or if we're not being powerful.

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So let me give you an example. Um, I'm going to give you the example of integrity. So the word integrity, most people, when they think of that word, they think of, you know, people who, um, do the things that they say they're going to do. They're responsible. They're, uh, generally have a good set of morals. And when you walk around companies, or even some people at home, they have pictures that say integrity on it. And it's funny because when I would ask executives, uh, in a meeting room, what does that word that you have hanging on your wall out there mean that word, integrity. What does it mean for you and your team? And they would all answer in a different way. And I thought that was really interesting. They all have their own kind of subjective view of integrity and what that means for them.

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So I want to give you, um, another definition of integrity that can help you actually restore your power. So when I heard this definition, I thought, wow, it's a lot to live up to, but as I understood it and deeper and practice this, I understood that it helped me put a lot of things in order in my life so that I can have my power back. Now, personally, myself, I've gone through anxieties, depressions to, uh, flying high where my performance is out of this world. And I'm producing like, like no other. So I've gone through those ups and downs, and I know what it is to lose my power. And I know what it is to get my power back. And a lot of it lives in language. So let's continue on with this word integrity. So when I heard this definition changed everything in my life and the definition is integrity doing what you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do it.

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And if not cleaning it up, so it doesn't impact another or others. And I thought that's interesting because in our world today, I think so many people say they're going to do things. They don't end up doing them. And we all kind of let them get away with that, including ourselves. We let ourselves get away with it by saying, well, it's okay. You know, like we missed it, but we'll, we'll do it next time or I'll make up for it or, Oh, I'm sorry. You know, I'll, I'll definitely get it done. But what we're doing is we're training a culture of, uh, powerlessness if that's a word, but we're losing our power within that culture. And the reason why we're losing our power is because we're making excuses for why we didn't do what we said we're going to do. So think about that integrity, doing what you said you're going to do when you said you're going to do it.

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And if not cleaning it up. So it doesn't affect another person or other people, you know, uh, myself personally, I don't think I had a lot of integrity when I first learned that, uh, that, that definition, as a matter of fact, my integrity was way out. It was quite confronting to hear this, but I knew by understanding integrity in this new way that I can get my power back. Because if I can just do what I say I'm going to do. When I say I'm going to do it, I would have a lot more power. So let me give you an example of that. Um, a great example would be Hitler. Most people don't recognize, and I might've spoken about Hitler in a past podcast, but most people don't realize that Hitler was one of the greatest leaders on this planet. Not because of the things he did, but because he said he was going to do things and he did it.

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So when you say you're going to do something and you do it, people start believing you. And so therefore he started getting more and more followers. People believed in what he said. So, uh, for example, how many times have you told your wife or husband? Oh yeah. I'm going to take the garbage out and you don't do it all. Y'all going to clean the dishes and you don't do it. Yes. I will get this done by tomorrow. And you don't do it. Imagine your partner's hearing you over and over saying, you're going to do these things, but then it doesn't get done. How do they listen to you now? Like, Oh yeah. I, um, I think he's going to do it. Maybe he's going to do it. I don't even know if he's going to do it. Cause last time he didn't do it. So at the time before that he didn't do it.

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So it starts creating this listening of you and your power comes from your community and the people around you, how they listen to you. They either listen to you as somebody who is their word and is in full integrity and, or they listened to you as somebody. Who's not their word. And somebody that maybe they can't fully believe when they say they're going to do something. And you know this yourself, when you say you're going to do something like I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow at six 30 in the morning and you get up and you do it, you feel great. When you say I'm going to set this goal and you actually work towards it and maybe even possibly achieve it, you feel great when, uh, you tell people that they can believe you. Because when you say that you're going to do something and you do it, what kind of listening are you creating of you?

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You're creating a powerful listening of you, which means people are going to listen to you and believe in you. If you look at politics today, I mean, it's very hard to believe what you see from politicians today because they say a lot of stuff to get elected. But the reality is there's a lot of work going into trying to execute on what they promised and they don't get a lot of it done. So the next time an election comes, it's, it's hard to believe that people that are are saying they're going to do this and do that. If historically, they haven't done that. So they lose their power. So how do you get your power back? How do you do that? Well, first of all, my mentor had told me a long time ago. He said, Malvin, I want you to repeat me and please repeat this in the podcast.

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I want you to repeat. I don't have integrity. I never had integrity and I never will have integrity. And I thought, when my mentor told me to say that, I thought like, why would you say that? Because I'm going to work really hard to have integrity. He says, well, full integrity means whole and complete. It means that you do every single thing that you say you're going to do, including the things that you say to yourself. Here's the challenge. We live in a very fast paced world. So there are going to be things that we're going to miss and we'll never be full and complete and integrity based off the best definition that I gave you earlier. So how do we increase our power? We increase our power by being our word. How do we be our word in a chaotic world? Well, this is where choice comes in.

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So choice comes into our day because we have to choose what are the things that we say we're going to do? And what are the things that we're going to say no to? And we need to get a little bit better around our managing of time. So for example, when I say I'm going to go to the gym, I actually put it in my calendar, go to the gym. Guess what happens when my calendar says, it's time to go to the gym. I go to the gym or I could listen to my internal excuses and make up a reason about why I'm too tired today to not go to the gym. And then I feel powerless. But if I listen to my calendar and I actually go to the gym, regardless of how I feel, then great, I'm going to actually get a great results.

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I'm going to feel powerful again. See restoring your power is having a great, great commitment to your word and understanding the relationship between your word and how you impact other people. So here's another definition I want to give you the definition of commitment. So to be committed to something is to do, do what you said you're going to do long after the feeling you said it in has left you. So do what you said. You're going to do long after the feeling. You said it in Hamilton left, you you're all too familiar with this one because haven't you before in the heat of the moment said you were going to do something, but then later your mood changes and you don't end up doing it. So in order to really get power back for yourself and think about it, if you were to do all the things that you said you were going to do through the day and through the week and through the year, how powerful would your life be?

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So if you really want to get that power back, we have to look at what are we doing committing to it's our word. So if our word is important to us and it gives us our power, we should really treat it with that level of commitment, to what you say we are going to do long after the feeling you said it in has left you. So be careful what you commit to be careful what you give your word to, because if you want to be powerful, you should just do it. So regardless of what you say internally, or how you feel, the fact is, you said you're going to do something that should go in your calendar or your agenda or your pass list, and you should do it. Why? Because you said, so it's what gives you your power. Also, we talked about the power that gives you to your community.

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So your community sites, listening to your family, starts listening to you as somebody who does what they say they're going to do do on the other hand, if you, you really want to build your confidence high in yourself, think about how you listen to you. So you may be like, Hmm, for me at the very beginning of this, where I would say all kinds of things that I'm going to do, and I wouldn't do them. And then my new listening of myself would be, yeah, I typically say these things, but I don't do them. And so what happens is my confidence level goes down, but I tell you, man, when I'm doing what I say, I'm going to do my power just goes up within me and around me. So very important to understand that in order to get your own confidence, your own power, your own integrity, your own flow, going in life, very, very important to make a huge commitment to your word.

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You'll never be your word 100% of the time. And that's okay. But if you are 80, 90% of the time and cleaning it up, when you're not your word, then you'll realize that, you know, people will listen to you in a very respectful way. You will respect yourself in a new way. And really it comes down to just be your word and make a commitment to being your word and the results that you'll see internally and externally are completely outstanding. I hope in this episode here, I at least maybe brought up our conscious level around. Am I being my word? Am I not being my word? I can point out probably about 10 people right now where I wouldn't call them to do a job for me. Why? Because I know from history, when I ask them to do something, it gets not done or it never gets started.

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Or I got a promise and it's under delivered. But on the other hand, I know a bunch of people also that I can reach out to and definitely get the job done. What, from history, I can look at them and say, yeah, I know before, when I asked for something and they committed to it, it was done. No questions asked. And I think we all want to be one of those people. One of those people that people can trust and count on, it builds our own confidence in who we are and, uh, builds their confidence in who we are. So I hope today, this little lesson about integrity, restoring your power, make sense to you. I hope it gives you value. And if you really feel that, uh, this is an important lesson for somebody that, you know, please share it. Um, and not to share it in a way of, Hey, you have no integrity, so you'll have to listen to this.

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Uh, maybe it's a, Hey, you know, I found a new way to restore my power and it's really cool, man. You got to check this out. I remember when I was, I only say that because I remember when I was first learning this integrity, I was walking around like, Oh, you don't have any and Oh yeah, you probably have some and you don't have, you definitely have no integrity. But the reality was I was out of integrity in many areas of my life. So how this served me really is that I was just more conscious about where I was out of integrity. And I'm very specific about

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What I commit to now. And I'm also very conscious that if I do not fulfill on my word, I clean that up and I make it up. I don't apologize. I clean it up. You know, I fix it up and make it better. Give a better solution, but don't just say, sorry, and walk away, restore your power by cleaning it up. So I hope this really helps guys. Um, please share if you haven't had the opportunity to leave a review and if this is making a difference for you, please leave a review behind, uh, that will be awesome. It really helps, um, connect this podcast to other listeners who might be wanting to learn as well. I really appreciate your time and listening. And I'm really just grateful for all my listeners here and people who have been sharing and people who are sending me feedback. I really, really appreciate that. Uh, have a great day afternoon, evening, whatever time it is that you're listening. Take care. Bye.