Episode #12 - Make Decisions Quicker And Smarter

(00:00):

Welcome to be x do = have a simple formula to Uncomplicate your life. My name is Malvin Young. I'm a speaker entrepreneur and brand partnership manager with a well-known TV production company. This show is about a straightforward formula that I've used to coach hundreds of people over the last 15 years to overcome many challenges. Personally, I don't like to coach on any area of life that I haven't improved on myself. So lucky for you. I've had to overcome big challenges in the areas of relationship, finances, health, anxiety, and depression. Then after a crazy car accident, I had to do it all over again. I'm really excited about this show today, because what I'm about to share with you is made a huge impact on my life. And more importantly, I've seen many others who have practices methods, breakthrough barriers that have been holding them back their entire lives. Also, please subscribe to get the most value out of this podcast. As each episode, we'll build on each other.

(00:58):

Before we get into today's conversation. I want to share with you a company called Instacart. Instacart is an online shopping service. Uh, if you're in Canada and the us, and what this app does is you literally log on based on your postal code or your zip code. And they'll tell you all the shops locally that you can shop from. You literally choose what it is that you want. They do the shopping for you, and they deliver it to you. It's a great service. And right now you can try it for free. For two weeks. All you have to do is go to www dot Malvin, young.com forward slash Instacart and full disclosure. Here, we do receive a small fee for each person that does sign up and tries the service out. So for each of you trying the service, it really helps our podcast here. Thank you so much for doing that.

(01:55):

Welcome to episode number 12, where we're going to talk about how to make decisions quicker by getting to know yourself. Haven't you noticed that people who really Excel, people who do very well and either work or their, their business or their family life, or maybe it's an athletics, uh, within their hobbies. One thing that you want to take note of is that they make decisions really quick, and that generally has a lot to do with the fact that they know themselves and they know what it is that they want. So when you're in a position that you know yourself, you know who you are, and you know what you're about, it's very easy to kind of stack up the, uh, situations and opportunities that you're faced with on a daily basis and be able to say yes or no, uh, to those opportunities or situations simply because you know yourself.

(02:55):

So my next big question, um, then when I heard that kind of concept, of course, it makes sense that if you know yourself, it's a lot easier to make decisions, but you know, how do you really get to know yourself? That was a big question for me. And I'm sure most of you have been asked the question. Tell me about yourself. If you've been in an interview, I'm sure you've been asked that if you've been on a date, uh, you've been asked that question. And in some cases, networking events, when you meet people, they say, tell me about yourself. And what we typically do is we start talking about, you know, our family, or we start talking about our career depending on what the situation is. And we describe all these things as if we're describing ourselves. And the reality is that's not who you are.

(03:47):

That's just a whole bunch of makeup. That kind of makes up a little bit of your story. So when we're looking at this topic here on how to make decisions quick, we must first learn how to get to know ourselves and how to get to know ourselves at a deeper level, at a meaningful level, so that we can make decisions very quickly that add to the meaning of our life. And so how do we go about that is by looking at something called values, and I've been very fortunate to work in a position. I had a consulting firm where I got to work with many companies on discovering what their core values are, but I would say even more importantly, the individual core values like who that person is as an individual. And, uh, you know, on both sides of that, when a company knows who they are and where they're going very easy for them to make decisions as an organization, same thing for people that know who they are, where they're going very easy to make decisions.

(04:52):

So what's the process of discovering yourself, getting to know yourself on a deeper level? Well, I remember consulting for one company where they had told me, um, that they had discovered their core values by going through a process of, um, um, this consultant kind of handed out cards. And they went through this process of looking at these different cards that had value names on them, and they would kind of discover which one felt best and they would go from there and define it. And I would like to, um, really say that, like, I don't know if you could just pick a word and say, that's me, that's who I am. That's what I value. That's my top core values, really, to discover your core values, you really need to uncover them. You need to really go through a discovery process where you can identify truly what your core values are and define them.

(05:53):

So that way it's, it's very easy. If somebody were to ask me like who I am today, I can really just speak from my core values, as opposed to all of the things that I do. So I can speak about I'm somebody who stands for human growth and choice and freedom. I can speak about those things because they're really aligned with my core values. Um, so what I'd love to share with you today is a very, we call it fun process. It is simple, but it can be difficult, but it's worth going through the process to identify what your core values are. Because once you get to know you, it's very easy to make decisions. And you know, on the other side of this core values, there's a lot of value in knowing them for the simple fact that, um, people are going to know you in three different ways.

(06:48):

One way that they're going to know you is through stereotype. So if they see you, they haven't met you. They haven't heard anything about you as of yet. Um, they'll get to know you through stereotype, which is, you know, they'll look at you, they'll look at how you dress. They'll look at, uh, maybe the way you move your skin color, all of these different things. And they will have a pre assumption about who you are. So that's one way that people will know you. It's not, it's definitely not the best way. It's probably the worst way for them to know you because they don't really get to know you are the next way that people will get to know you is through rep reputation. So through somebody else or through the media or through social media or through your resume, they can look at your history and kind of get a, a, a understanding of who you are, person.

(07:45):

However, again, uh, reputation, they don't get a real full picture because people have ups and downs in life. People have pivoting points, they have different stages. So like their history doesn't really determine their future. Always. Although in a lot of cases it might, uh, but in, in most cases, I mean, people go through change in life. And so it's still not there the best way. It's better than stereotyping, but it's still not the best way to be known. The best way to be known is through your core values, like who you are as a person and what you stand for, your core values, kind of paint a picture of that. And if you ever notice anyone who's a super influencer or a someone who's really caused any sort of movement in life is simply because they're not talking about all the actionable things that they do.

(08:42):

They talk about what they believe in. What's important to them, what they value in life. And therefore other people actually say, Hey, I value the same thing. I believe in that person. I'm going to follow that person. Or I'd like to at least continue the conversation with this person is because there's a similarity in the core values. So, uh, but back to the original intent here is to get to know yourself. And when you get to know yourself and you start sharing yourself from your core values, people will start knowing you for who you truly are. Not from the, um, already preset, the optics that they have of you either be a stereotype or reputation. So I hope this exercise is really valuable to you. I'm going to walk you through it's here right now. I'm also going to leave the documentation and the exercise in the show notes.

(09:36):

So you can download it yourself and walk yourself through the process. So, uh, when we talked about this originally, we talked about discovering or uncovering your core values rather than picking your core values. So, first of all, let's just talk about values for a moment. What are they? So values are typically, uh, something in your life, obviously that you value. So in a hard time in life, the reason why that time or event might've been hard for you is because that thing that you value was not present or the highs in life. So when you're really having a good experience in life, typically you're having this good experience because the things that you value are present in that experience. So in order to uncover or discover our core values and really get to know ourselves, the very first step is to really go through this process called the mountain and Valley mountain and valleys, um, or peak and valleys of core values.

(10:47):

And what this is, is a little worksheet that we look at a timeline from when we're younger up until current date. And we look at events and you'll notice on this. I'm not going to go into too much detail on the steps because the, the sheet in the show notes is a really step-by-step process. I just want to give you an overview of it. So you you're aware of like how to go through the process and also how to get the outcome that you're looking for. So the sheets going to tell you to identify a five, I think it's five to 10 different events in your life. Some that are ups and some that are in some events that are downs. So, uh, an example for me, when I were to identify a down in my life, I remember when I was younger and I fell off my bike.

(11:39):

I was really trying to ride my bike. Uh, my family wasn't around. Some of my friends were there and I was riding my bike and I fell off. And I remember everyone laughing at me. Well, you know, one of my core values is human growth. Uh, and really, if you think about that, there's nothing about human growth in that. That's a matter of fact, like people laughing at you is more stunting your growth and allowing growth. So it was a bad experience for me. It was a bad experience in the sense that one of my core values human growth was not present. As a matter of fact, the opposite was there. You know, another thing that I obviously value that we all value is love. So when your friends are laughing at you, I, it doesn't feel like love is present. So therefore I can identify, uh, the I value love or I value human growth.

(12:35):

So, uh, in this exercise, you were to jot down some of the highs and some of the lows and next to the highs and lows you're to start writing down on the lows, what was missing that had me feel so bad. So, so if you value friendships, for example, and you see friendship was missing from that, uh, situation, you might want to write down friendships was missing. If you, uh, we talked about love if you value, love, but love was missing in that scenario and why it felt so bad is you're going to write down love, for example, uh, on the highs, same thing you want to ask yourself, what was present, what values were present that had me feel so good in this situation. So in the office, that side of things, um, let's just say you did very well on a school test and you were acknowledged in front of the class and the event was that you just felt so great that you did so well, but what was the value that was present acknowledgement?

(13:45):

So you'd write down acknowledgement there. So you want to write down as many, uh, um, values next to each of the downs and as many values next to the ups. And the reason why you wanna write down, uh, each of them is because you'll start seeing a common thread and a thread that you're going to see is, uh, going to be used later, where you can then identify, what are the top five values that show up for you when you discover the top five values that show up for you, uh, you know, looking at some values, they can be combined together. You can make up your own words that describe that value. The important thing is that you're able to pull the common threads out of those ups and downs in your life, and be able to put them together, uh, in, in a list of one, two, three, four, five, or it might be just your top three core values.

(14:45):

Either one is fine, three, four or five values. The more important part is to start writing down. What does that value mean to you? So, for example, for myself, knowing that one of my core values is a human growth. So describing what that means, what that means to me is that I believe they, human growth should be present in any situation that we face in life, the goods and the bads. I don't believe in people robbing people from their opportunity to grow and make mistakes. And I truly believe that, uh, we should support each other, uh, as we go through the ups and downs and lives and support each other more so in finding, uh, the value in the growth of that situation, as opposed to, uh, just supporting somebody emotionally and listening to them, like what's helped them find the gold a little bit.

(15:46):

So for me, that's why human growth is all about, is creating an environment and people that support each other in their growth rather than make fun of each other and put each other down. So that's what I value in life. That's one of my core values. Another one is choice. I truly believe as human beings, we should all be presented with the opportunity of choice. We should never be backed in the corner or made to do anything or forced to do anything. We should be able to make our own choices that align with ourselves. So, um, you know, when I'm not in a good mood as simply because I'm probably in a situation where human growth or choice doesn't exist. So very important for me to participate in opportunities and, uh, make decisions around things that support human growth and choice and freedom is my other one.

(16:41):

So those are just like a little examples of how you can define them, but it's most important that you define it the way you would define it as opposed to the dictionary version of that value. So here's the other side of values, just because you value something doesn't mean you love it. For example, I know some people that truly value your health, but their actions do not support that value. So one of the most important things is that when we discover our core values, if our core values health, we shouldn't be eating takeout food all the time, or we shouldn't be laying on the couch all the time. We should be obviously promoting and working on our health. So, um, on the other side of that, you know, some people, they say, um, they value relationships, but then they take actions where it's like, kind of shows that they value money over relationships, or they value cheating over relationships, or they value.

(17:53):

And I wouldn't say cheating that they value the value of fun. Maybe they, maybe they value, uh, exploring over commitment. So very different for everyone, but very important that when you identify what the common themes are, that you write down your core values, uh, in a descriptive way, that, that you can live from it. Not only that you understand it, but it's a way that inspires you to live from it. And I'll leave you with examples of that in the show notes as well too. But I think my point here and what I wanted to really help us understand is that if we want to make quick decisions, we got to know who we are. We gotta know what we're about. And if we understand that what our core values are, it's now very easy to make decisions. So in life we're going to be faced with situations every single day.

(18:50):

We're going to be faced with opportunities, challenges, and different scenarios all the time. But the best way to navigate through it quickly is to stack all of those up against your core values, who you are as a human being. So if I am faced with a scenario where let's say I have a heavy workload and, uh, I am, and my workload that I'm working on, my project that I'm working on is all about, uh, enabling people to get outdoors and enjoy life, uh, um, more so if my focus is that, and that's around the human growth, core value of mine, if my focus is that, but I'm getting opportunities, you're working on something, your buddies call you up and they want to go out and have a few drinks that night, but yet your project's due tomorrow. So obviously it's going to be easy for me to say no.

(19:53):

Why, because I have a responsibility and what I'm working on lines with my core values. So very important that if I just follow my core values very quick and easy to say yes or no to that situation. Now, if that situation were different than going out for a drink, maybe it is, uh, Hey, we need some, uh, help here. We're giving a seminar to a group of people that are, uh, looking at making a difference in the community. And if that supports human growth choice and freedom for me, maybe I might entertain looking at how I can do that and still complete my project. That's important to me. So anything that aligns with my core values, it's worth looking at anything that doesn't, it's just a complete, absolute, no, like I wouldn't even entertain it. And this is the same thing for companies when they're working on core values, you know, the, the, the one, the biggest value that they get out of it as an organization is they use it as a decision criteria tool so that when the company's faced with, do we develop this new product, do we market this way?

(21:06):

Do we, um, create a commercial for this? Do we, um, take on this new manufacturing partner to make it for us? All of that is lined up with their values so they can say yes or no to any one of those questions based on who they are and where they're going. So that's the whole point of this conversation. Here is a, if you want to make quick decisions, you got to get to know you, it's only by using the filters of your core values. Can you make quick decisions that you're going to feel good about? If you make decisions right now, let's reverse engineer it a little bit. If you make a decision right now and you feel bad about that decision, I can guarantee you that your decision did not align with your core values. On the other hand, if you make a decision, you feel really good about it.

(22:05):

It's because that decision you just made aligns with your core values. So by getting to know your core values, very simple, you just say yes or no based on who you are, you don't have to feel guilty, sad, bad about anything, because everything that you're making a decision on is to support who you are and where you're going. Like, what are your goals, which we talked about in earlier podcast, and who are you as a human being? I think combined between those two, you're in a much better position to sift through life quicker and all the nonsense marketing that we get on a daily basis, sift through all of this stuff and be able to say yes and no to things a lot quicker and spend more time doing things that are important to you. I hope this helps you guys. I know some of this is visual work, uh, and that's why I'm going to leave the, um, worksheet in the show notes so that you can work through yourself.

(23:08):

Uh, it's all the instructions are on there, but the goal is discover who you are and then make decisions based off of your core values and who you are. I really hope this helps everyone. Uh, if you feel that there's something within this conversation, uh, that you'd like to share with our friend, because maybe they're looking at, um, growing, uh, discovering themselves, trying to maybe get ahead in a certain area of their life. Please share this podcast with them. Uh, we've been getting a lot of feedback from people and really do appreciate all the feedback I've been. I've been taking, uh, some of the criticism as well,

(23:46):

And trying to integrate some of those changes into the podcast. But at the end of the day, I'm not looking to try to build a business out of this, really looking to make a difference in any way I can. Uh, if you haven't had the opportunity yet, please, um, uh, leave a review on our podcast. The more reviews we have, uh, the more that, uh, Apple, uh, and the other podcast platforms are gonna promote, uh, the, uh, the podcast to more people, allowing more people to see the podcast or listen to the podcast. So thank you so much again for listening. I'm truly grateful for each of you listening and sharing, have yourself a wonderful day, evening or night take care of things.